BEING OLD IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY by Ann Cason

One day, as I was interviewing a young woman who wanted a job working with older adults, she told me, “When the consumer needs toileting, I---“
Oh, oh, I wondered. Is she going to tell me about bed pans or the correct terminology for bodily processes? But that wasn’t it. Caregivers are often taught to label elders by their function or by their disease.(i.e. there’s a broken hip in bed two) We are also taught not to use slang for bodily processes. We can’t say, “The old woman needs to pee.” The elder is no longer perceived as an old person vegetating in a rocking chair. Older people are no longer referred to as old, frail, or dying. They are older adults at the end of life who may have life limiting illness and who are consumers of services.
Some think that the elderly consume too many health services. Some think that too many elderly people slip through the cracks and are not served enough. Either way whether you think of an elder as a consumer, a vegetater, or a rocker; the view seems to be dead end attitude. It is the trash heap, where people land, who are thought of by their function in society. Am I a consumer, a boomer, or a bed in a facility? Am I staying home or aging in place? Do I contribute services or use them up? But there is another question to ask. What is it to be a human being—to live and die with appreciation, with tenderness, with inquisitiveness, and the courage it takes to communicate without all those labels?
Continuing with the interview, I tell the young woman being interviewed this: The other day I called on a very old woman to see if she needed some help. “Bring me a car.” She told me. “I want to go to Talbot’s to buy my last sweater.
“How would you respond to this elder?” I ask the young woman.
She replied. “Well, I wonder if someone so old needs a new sweater.”
“But what if she wants one?” I ask. “Like a last wish before dying? Or what if she is being a drama queen or trying to solicit pity?”
“Should she want a new sweater when she is nearly 90 years old?” The young woman persists. “Would she get her money’s worth?”
“Can’t we start where she is?” I suggest. “Wouldn’t it be healing to take an expedition to a store: the fresh air, talking with sales clerks, the touch of wool and fake fur? What about the color that wakes you up and lets you enjoy being alive?”
“Well, maybe we could call the doctor for some Ativan. (anti-anxiety drug) A shopping neurosis is not so good.” The prospective caregiver suggested..
I relax into the interview. Maybe this young woman and I don’t quite connect. Young and old have different words. Yet, how good it is to talk it over. “There is more than one way to skin a cat,” as my own mother often told me. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if communication could be the courage we live with, so we wouldn’t have to label our dear fellow compadres as consumers, even if we still want sweaters or need help with toileting when we are old?

Audacious Aging

It is no surprise that many people, not involved in Shambhala, are noticing that they (and a lot of their friends) are getting older. Nor is it a surprise that many of these people are bringing their life experience and expertise to bear on the question of how they plan to spend their ‘elder’ years.

The newly published book, “Audacious Aging”, edit by Stephanie Marohn (Elite Books, 2008/2009) is made up of short essays, a few pages in length, by nearly forty interesting and thoughtful people, ranging in age from 40’s to 90’s.

Their careers and life paths are quite diverse, ranging from spiritual leaders (Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass ) to politicians (Robert Byrd, George McGovern), to performers (Lena Horne, Dick Van Dyke), to culture changers like Helen Gurley Brown and Gloria Steinem. The topics range from medicine, to culture, to just plain common sense, and more.

What is common in nearly all the essays is the message that audacious aging is a continuation of audacious living, of being willing to engage in the world and go beyond the routine, to deepen and contribute.

In short, getting old is a great opportunity to bring life to fruition on a personal, interpersonal and societal level. One writer joked that ‘we thought the revolution was in the 60’s, but it may turn out to be in our 60’s’.

In the forward by Joe Laur and Isabelle St-Jean, the intent of the book is stated as follows:

“We invite you to ride with us on the wings of courage, from the heightened perspective afforded by years of journeying. May we all rise to the challenge of transforming our society from a youth / appearance-worshiping culture into one that fosters the values of the heart, supports the evolution of consciousness, and leaves to future generations a legacy of which we can be wildly proud”.

This statement could be seen as pointing to the core aspiration of Shambhalians as well, to transform the world from the materialism (physical, psychological and spiritual) of the setting sun outlook to the vision of enlightened society.

In any case this book provides an introduction to a wealth of useful tools, information and inspiration.